We are always looking for ways to enhance and improve Work Her Way, and there is no one whose input I value more than yours.

Would you take a few minutes to complete our very first Work Her Way survey? You can click here to get started.

I would love to give you a token of my appreciation for taking time out of your day to provide us with some answers. I would like to offer you a free gift. Women In Transition: an mp3 audio recording of my exclusive and insightful discussion with former Playboy Enterprises CEO Christie Hefner and the CEO of Open Road Integrated Media, former Harper Collins CEO Jane Friedman.

If you long for a change, or have had one thrust upon you recently, I know that you will enjoy the chance to “sit at the table” with three experienced businesswomen who have been there and have advice and answers to share.

Once you have listened in on our discussion, be sure to leave a comment for us with your thoughts about what you have heard. All those who comment will be entered into a random drawing for a $250 Ann Taylor gift card.

I hope to hear from you in the near future!

Water seeks its own level, so make sure the water you are in is pure instead of polluted.

Step 1: Make a list of the most positive, uplifting, low maintenance (easy to please, difficult to upset) people you admire and respect and know or would like to know.

Step 2: Do everything you can to develop a relationship with these people. One way to do that is to figure out what you can do for them that would make them happier and their lives better from their point of view (for instance one thing I do is write thoughtful, positive, heartfelt and sincere book reviews if they have a book) and because of who they are (i.e. non-takers and non-scorekeepers) this may cause them to want to return your generosity with their own. For me, because they are indeed so special, just the gift of their very precious time is more than enough payment.

Step 3: The more you develop relationships with these wonderful people, who make you want to be a better person, the more repulsed you will be by the takers, whiners, excuse makers, bullies and high maintenance (easy to upset, difficult to please) people to the point where any contact with them will feel like nails on a chalkboard. That will drive you to sever your relationship with the negative people. Another reason you will want to sever your relationship with them is because of the negative part of your personality (the blamer, whiner, excuse maker in you) that is kept alive by continuing a relationship. Allowing that negative part of you to continue is a way of dishonoring the wonderful people you are now bringing in your life and standing in the way of your becoming the better person that they make you want to become.

If you have read this far and want to share your thoughts, please click “Reply.”

A terrific resource for connecting with the right people is Keith Ferrazzi’s megabest seller, Never Eat Alone and if you really want to make a commitment to your personal improvement and achieve breakthrough results using the power of relationship check out Keith’s online university, Relationship Masters Academy.

Someone should make an app for my iPhone that allows you to search a data base of employers who have come under fire by the government for employee mistreatment. If there were, fewer people would probably get sick from tainted food.

One of the biggest food recalls in history is going on right now. And guess what? The company responsible has a history of treating it’s workers badly.

Wright County Egg, an Iowa company, has had to recall more than 300 million eggs nationwide because of salmonella. The owner of the firm, Jack DeCoster, was called the “poster child” of worker mistreatment in a 2006 article in Boston magazine titled: “The Invisible Harvest Exploitation. Coercion. Poverty wages. New England has its own Grapes of Wrath, and it’s happening now. Inside the hidden world of the migrant farm workers who put food on your table.”

If any of you knew this, would you have eaten his eggs?

Turns out DeCoster has paid millions in fines to the federal government’s worker safety agency, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

A recent New York Times article details what he was charged for:

Officials said workers were forced to handle manure and dead chickens with their bare hands and to live in trailers infested with rats. The labor secretary in the Clinton administration, Robert B. Reich, called Mr. DeCoster’s operation “an agricultural sweatshop.”

Mr. DeCoster’s facilities have also been periodically raided by immigration officials.

If an employer is okay with treating workers like crap, do you think they’re okay with feeding our kids crap? Is that such a stretch?

Did you bring your A game to work today?

If not, don’t fret – even top performers have an off day or two.

Every once in a while.

The topic of my New York Daily News column this week is not the occasional day when things slide. I wrote about those who are phoning it in on a regular basis, and you know who you are.

Workers who are facing a personal crisis may certainly be forgiven this attitude. Anyone who has cared for a loved one through a serious illness can attest to the fact that there were work days when work was the last thing on their minds.

What about people who simply allow their attention to slide, due to a happy event outside of the office? In my column, I quote a rather dismaying statistic about women who engage in extensive wedding planning while on the company clock. And then there are those who have simply become disillusioned with their jobs.

This is no time to be looking for a new job, especially if the reason was a choice to mentally check out at the previous position. Imagine the profound regret of tossing away something so many others would love to have in today’s tough job market.

There is an idea rolling around in my head, and I plan to discuss it further as it takes shape. With people all around us desperate for work, and companies slashing perks and extra benefits in a swift return to a Depresison-era mentality, why does it seem that there is still a disconnect in the working world that allows low performers to stay in their jobs, seemingly forever?

To write or not to write a cover letter -  a long-standing question on the minds of job seekers.  Enter the new millennium with Web and Job Search 2.0.  It’s no longer “Should I or Shouldn’t I” according to the opinions of a split group of career and recruiting professionals. All opinions, please exit “stage left” in this slowly recovering economy. 

One key overarching strategy now rules the job search process — that of differentiating yourself from the masses.

Standing out in today’s job market is more than having your resume professionally written, defining your personal brand, or taking a networking seminar (although these certainly help!). It’s about the whole package – how effectively you communicate your brand and demonstrate your ability to contribute to an organization. 

Don’t miss a key opportunity to convey these through your cover letter — leverage it to sell yourself further and enhance your marketability. 

In many consulting firms, for example, you’re quickly transferred to the rejection pile if you do not submit a cover letter with your resume.  (incidentally- this is also true for a thank-you letter, so never ignore this step)  These firms maintain stringent hiring criteria, as corporations are paying them for thought leadership and superior advisory services. Hence,  while some recruiters, hiring managers, and headhunters will claim they do not read cover letters, those who do may dismiss your candidacy for lack of one.  Why take this chance when you need every advantage in today’s job market?  

Unless specifically asked not to do so, include a well-crafted cover letter with each resume tailored to the employer’s needs and job role. Try not to repeat “verbatim” what’s already included in your resume.  Highlight your relevant accomplishments and abilities/skills to perform the job successfully in succinct bullet points. You’ll likely never regret doing so – but you very well may if you don’t!

“Build it before you need it.”

That was one of the most important operating principles in Never Eat Alone – the idea that building your network and deepening relationships shouldn’t – in fact, CAN’T – be a machine that you fire up when you suddenly need a new job. Putting time and energy into relationship building should be a lifestyle constant.

The question is how to do that, on a typical day when the alarm clock rings and you’re off to a running start in a race that ends when your head hits the pillow?

Here’s my solution: Ritualize relationship building. Create a system of simple activities that you carry out over time as habits – and that become as essential and basic to your being as your morning cup of coffee.

Here are five ideas to inspire your own personal “Relationship Rituals” checklist:

1.    First thing every day after you turn on your computer, ping one friend and one acquaintance.

2.    Every weekend, invite someone else into an activity that you normally do alone (walks, gym sessions, gardening, shopping trips).

3.    Pick a day for a weekly check-in with a colleague/associate/friend, during which you share a success, a challenge, and make a commitment for the upcoming week.

4.    Every Friday, send a broadcast – status update, blog post, Tweet, etc.

5.    Host a monthly dinner or happy hour.

Ultimately, everyone’s list of rituals will be unique, customized to your specific network, goals, and lifestyle. The important thing is that every week, hell or highwater, you’re acting on them.

Now tell me: What’s your best relationship ritual, that you’re either practicing now or want to start?

Over the past five years I’ve seen every type of clothing attire in work situations, from business suits to low cut tops and jeans to gym clothes.  I’ve even seen a woman wearing a ski parka over her business skirt suit!  Through it all I’ve had a lot of women ask me about the connection of clothing and career success. 

Based on two surveys, it appears that “casually dressed workers may be risking career success for the privilege of being comfortable” according to Marcia Heroux Pounds. 

Key survey results from the article:

• How employees dress at work directly affects their prospects for a promotion (survey of workers and HR professionals by Yahoo HotJobs and Banana Republic)
• While employees who dress casually are perceived to be more creative and fun, they also run the risk of being taken less seriously (survey by TheLadders.com, and looking at executives’ attitudes about dress code)

The article included good suggestions for clothing attire at work:

• Pay attention to what your boss wears
• Make sure your clothes fit well
• Tone down your look for work
• Keep a nice pair of shoes and a blazer in your cubicle/office so you’re prepared for high-level meetings
• Always be ready for an unexpected meeting with the CEO
• Even on “casual day,” dress stylishly and professional

 
Years ago, back when I was in college and just about to graduate, someone gave me advice that I’ve followed all these years.  They told me that whatever I chose to do in my career, always look two levels higher than where I am at and dress like they dress.  What great advice that turned out to be!

Not sure what’s appropriate attire where you work?  Ask your manager.  According to the Yahoo survey, “61 percent of workers admit they either don’t know or don’t care about their company dress code.” 

Do you have any clothing horror stories from work?  Share them in the comments section.

I recently returned from the Toastmasters International Convention in Palm Desert, California, where I was honored to receive the Toastmasters Golden Gavel Award. Knowing that I would be giving a speech to an audience of some of the world’s greatest speakers was unsettling  to say the least! As I went through my usual preparation, my mind ran the names of some past winners in a continuous loop– Walter Cronkite, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Zig Ziglar, Ken Blanchard, Dr. Stephen Covey, Deepak Chopra. Let’s just say this wasn’t a confidence-boosting technique.

I deployed every mental trick in my arsenal to focus, get in the proper mind set, and yes – calm my nerves.  Until I arrived at the convention and was welcomed at every turn by Toastmasters members from all over the world. True to their passion, these people were outstanding communicators,  and it set the tone for the entire weekend. Gone were my pre-speech jitters, replaced by an energy and a focus that were clearly a product of the company I was keeping. I have spoken before countless audiences and I can honestly say that I have never before encountered one of this caliber.

Whether they were speaking one-on-one, in small groups, or to audiences in the hundreds, these are people who have learned the art of connecting with others through their communication skills.

It drove the point home once again – there is no skill that will take you further in your career and your life than relating well to other people.

If you are interested in honing your communication skills, I encourage you to visit the Toastmasters website and find a local chapter. You will improve your public speaking skills, to be certain – but that is just one of many advantages to learning to communicate and connect.

Not long ago an advertisement in our daily newspaper for a local CPA firm caught my attention, for the wrong reason. It was a photo of all the accountants at the firm.  They were all men.

During the recent campaigns for our primary elections, the commercial of a candidate for judge caught my attention, for the wrong reason.  The candidate had a string of supporters offering testimonials as to why we should vote for him.  They were all men.

Last year my husband and I built an addition on to our house.  When we met with the banker regarding financing, he caught my attention, for the wrong reason. During that first meeting, he never looked at me once.  Oh, except when we realized an additional piece of information would need to be brought to him.  Then he looked at me and said, “The next time you’re out, you can drop it by.” 

Each of these examples serves as a reminder of something that is difficult to comprehend in today’s time, yet is unfortunately still true:  as women, we are easily overlooked.  As a result, it is imperative we be proactive in doing all we can to equip ourselves with the necessary tools that will allow us to stand up and stand out from those around us. 

One of the most essential tools is courage.  I learned early on I was lacking in this feature.  I worked as a lifeguard at our city pool during the summers I was in college.  I was promoted to assistant manager and one day, was faced with the situation of having to remove some bullies from the property.  I walked toward them and when I was about twenty feet away, stopped in my tracks.  I turned around, headed back to my office and called for someone else (my older brother) to escort the troublemakers out.  I lacked the courage to do it myself.

Later on I did one of the best things I could ever do to gain not only the courage to speak up, no matter what the situation, but also equip me with the skills to articulate my thoughts in an effective, confident manner.  I joined Toastmasters International.

One thing is clear.  Being an effective communicator sets you apart from others. When you are vying for a position you may be up against many others, just as knowledgeable or experienced as you.  When you are in a meeting, several of you may have the same thoughts.  By being the one who can most clearly articulate your knowledge, your thoughts, you will be noticed.  And when you are noticed for your communication skills, you will also be looked upon as a leader. 

By the way, a few months ago I watched a television program where Bill Gates and Warren Buffet were on a university campus, being interviewed by business majors. One asked Mr. Buffet to name one thing he did to which he attributes his success.  His answer was, “I learned to communicate my thoughts articulately.”

We, as women, are just as intelligent, just as capable, just as worthy as men to be successful in business.  We just have to fight a little harder.  In order to do that, we must have the courage, and the skill, to speak up.  Don’t let a lack of confidence keep you from your dreams!  Be noticed…for the right reason.

Women have come closer to complete equality with men in the workplace in terms of salary, advancement, level of education, and other key indicators.

However, there is one significant exception to this new trend: working mothers.

A recent New York Times article by David Leonhardt, a writer whom I greatly admire,  discusses the forward advancement of women in the workplace, along with statistics that reference the mothers, who are actually losing ground.

“Women do almost as well as men today,” said Jane Waldfogel, a Columbia University professor quoted by Leonhardt, “as long as they don’t have children.”

As an important side note, it’s actually not the mothers but caregivers who are not making great strides in the workplace. When Dad is the primary caregiver, he can expect his career to take the hit just as quickly.

What does this say about the need for greater flexibility in the workplace? These are changes that cannot come fast enough.

It is evident that people who take time off from their careers for any reason are not able to pick up where they left off. In a downward economy, that can amount to never again regaining the ground that was lost. Therefore, the more we can do to allow people the ability to stay in their careers while making time  for other life pursuits, the better.

“The main barrier,” writes Leonhardt, “is the harsh price most workers pay for pursuing anything other than the old-fashioned career path.”

What about those who suggest that the current system is perfectly fair? Burning the candle at both ends for twenty years straight without a single vacation day, because that ought to earn you something? Or are we asking ourselves the wrong question?

The single-minded pursuit of a successful career, to the exclusion of all else that life has to offer, is the way to go for some people. However, this should be a lifestyle choice, not the sole, narrow path to the top of the career world.

What must we do to change that?