The topic of working with friends and loved ones has been on my mind lately. It seems that everyone has an opinion or an experience to share. Some are not very rosy, but others have uncovered the secret to making it work.

I’ll spare you the suspense and tell you up front: Prioritize the relationship first, the work second.

Some of the conversations I have had with our Work Her Way experts were so insightful, I’ve asked them to share there views for you here. Maggie Ellis Chotas and Betsy Polk Joseph have weighed in on the pros. They are partners, friends, and co-authors of an upcoming book on this subject. I also wrote about their partnership this week in my New York Daily News column, along with Work Her Way Experts Melissa McGraw and Jennifer Gregory, another excellent example of business partnership among friends.

There is no denying the down side, however, and for that reason we’ve asked Work Her Way expert and business attorney Nina Kaufman to hold up the Caution! sign and provide some advice for getting off to a good start (and further tips on ending well, in case your arrangement comes to that). Nina put it best when she said, “The surest way to ruin Thanksgiving Dinner forever is to do business with a family or friend in a slipshod way. I’ve seen the wreckage of a lot of personal relationships because people didn’t recognize one very important consideration: you have a special asset at risk—the personal relationship. That came first—and it needs to be protected.”

What advice can you share?

If you are among the many job seekers who are toughing out the tight labor market, you know that traditional methods no longer apply. In fact, a resume blitz or a search of the classified ads may amount to no more than a waste of your time.

What works?

A creative and relentless approach will eventually net results. Work Her Way Expert Catherine Lee carved out a great career for herself after decades out of the workforce, against the odds. A piece of advice from Catherine that resonated with me: “I was desperately unstoppable in my pursuit of work.” She spoke with everyone about her search,  because she understood that the next job lead might come from an unexpected source.

A couple of new approaches have surfaced recently. The New York Daily News is running an ongoing feature called Hire Me! It features New Yorkers who are seeking work in a variety of fields. Their stories are amazing and compelling. Putting faces and human details to their job searches is a great way to get noticed, and hopefully in each of their cases a future boss will open up the newspaper and spot their perfect candidate.

Our newest Work Her Way Expert, Betty Corrado, is bringing a new approach to job searches, and she is applying it in her local area in the form of Career Clubs, designed to empower and support the unemployed. It’s part of a country-wide initiative of people helping others – and themselves – as they walk a road they had never hoped to trudge across.

What interesting methods have you employed in your search for work? I encourage you to share them here for others who may benefit, either from your specific suggestion, or merely from knowing that they are not the only ones who have been there.

Do you have any plans for the weekend? How about…giving a disadvantaged woman the confidence to thrive in the workplace? This is quicker and easier than it sounds.

Dress For Success is holding their annual SOS- Send One Suit event this weekend. There is still time to participate, and it will be time well spent.

All of the details are outlined in my New York Daily News column for this week. Here are the basics:

Send One Suit accepts new and nearly-new professional suits for women. All sizes are accepted, but their greatest need is for plus-size suits (sizes 14 and up). All Dressbarn locations will be accepting suits from Thursday, February 25th, through Sunday, February 28^th.

Donating a single suit can have a drastic impact on the life and career of a woman who is striving for economic independence. Give your future colleagues and friends in the sisterhood of working women some well-deserved help this weekend.

There are countless ways in which the working world can give towards the greater good, and there is no time like the present. Many companies and organizations have stepped up during the recession and offered what help they have in a variety of places. Indeed, the giving is often about money, but that’s not the full picture. In all cases, whether the charitable outreach involves a large check, participation in a fundraiser, or a box left in the corner of the office to collect canned goods, there is one common theme that merits mention: it begins with individuals. Here are a few things everyone can do in their workplace to ensure that we are not leaving it up to the public relations department:

TAKE THE INITIATIVE

No matter your role in the organization, you can be the one to create and implement a charitable outreach. As is always the case when presenting to the boss, have your idea and a well-thought-out plan in place before you approach. Outline a few practical matters such as what you propose to do, how much time it will take, any initial cost to the company, and the potential benefit to the company. That last one is important, since bosses and owners to tend to think in terms of the bottom line. It may be helpful to show the long-term win-win of getting involved in helping others.

THINK SMALL STEPS

Try to begin with something doable. Even a two-person business has something to offer, especially when we bear in mind what can happen when resources are pooled from a number of smaller organizations.

What are some causes that directly relate to your line of work? A great example of this is Tide Detergent’s GreatNonProfits.org  for a comprehensive guide of charitable organizations. Great Non-Profits will assist you in matching with an organization that is in line with your company’s mission.

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY

There are so many things that can and must be done, and they often do not cost a dime. If your workplace has people willing to jump in and help others, donate the commodity that often matters the most: time. Ask the boss if your company would be willing to donate one day of willing employees’ time per year to outreach and volunteer work. The possibilities here are limitless, especially here in New York. Don’t be afraid to get creative as you design your workplace’s Giving Back Day. If you find yourself stuck for ideas, email me and I will point you in the right direction.　

It is easy to focus on the grand gestures of large corporate giving that make the news. However, sometimes the real story is the one individual worker who, moved by the plight of others, comes up with an idea and, more importantly, puts it into action.

On the morning we spoke, Christine Harvey had awakened at dawn, met a group of ROTC cadets at 6:00 AM for two hours of physical fitness training, cleaned up, and headed to our meeting, well-prepared graphs and charts in hand. That is because she is Lieutenant Colonel Christine Harvey of the United States Army, and she is on a mission. Lt. Colonel Harvey’s mission is to transition into the civilian working world.

It was my great pleasure to profile Chris Harvey in my New York Daily News column this week. Together, we detail the steps she is taking, and plans to take, as she makes her leap into a job search and a new career direction. It’s an excellent field manual for anyone about to navigate through a big life change.

A move to a completely different career often involves more than getting a new job. It’s also about learning a new culture. Chris’s first step was to see what kind of information was out there, and voraciously consume anything pertinent to her situation. This is, in fact, what led her to our meeting. After visiting Work Her Way, she sent an email to express gratitude for the “gold mine” of information. “The first five or six articles grabbed my attention, and I just started reading and taking notes.”

As a long time member of a large, inter-connected organization, Chris already recognizes that she can accomplish far more as the member of a team than she can on her own. Therefore, she views her transition as a journey that she is making with others, myself included. We quickly identified in each other an enthusiasm for sharing what we know, and gaining for ourselves in the process.

This type of collaboration is thought by many to be the future direction of the business world. It differs greatly from individuals clawing a small piece of the pie for themselves, and instead relies on different people bringing different skills to the table, and giving what they have. As we help others succeed, we increase our own success, even in terms of bottom-line profits.

In the interest of this collaboration, Chris has agreed to share her story, and allow her progress to be updated on Work Her Way, in the hopes that others who make the military to civilian transition will benefit from her experience.

Chris Harvey is well on her way to making her transition happen. I’m looking forward to coming along side her in the journey, and to celebrating her continued success!

“I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality – it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.” – Conan O’Brien

I quote Conan O’Brien in my New York Daily News column this week. The topic is exit strategies, and why you need one, even if you are certain your job is secure. Although it’s a painful experience to have to leave when you would rather stay (just ask Conan), and emotions can cause people to lash out (ask Conan and Jay Leno), in the end it’s best to put your emotions aside and make as graceful an exit as possible. Easier said than done, I know, and that’s why preparation matters.

One thing that you (and I) will never be able to do: buy into the claim that “it’s not personal.” It is indeed a very personal situation for you if you are let go from your job, even if it is purely a layoff situation. The trick, then, is to realize that you need to act in as measured a way as possible, while still acknowledging the all-too-personal impact joblessness will have on your life.

Work Her Way Expert Dr. Lynn Joseph takes things one step further. Her Job Loss Recovery Program addresses the single greatest reason to tend to your emotional healing: it can hinder your chances of landing another job. Her scientific approach uses guided visualization and other techniques to help job seekers get their head back into the game. If you are currently facing the waiting game and frustration of the Help Wanted section, resumes, and interviews, I highly recommend taking a closer look at Dr. Joseph’s work. Use every tool at your disposal to get back to work faster.

On that note, use the very powerful tool you have here at Work Her Way, in the form of our experts and your fellow working women. We’ve been there, and we’re pulling for you. Don’t be shy about asking for our help.

I was able to catch a good part of the Hope For Haiti Now telethon, enough to make me regret not having seen the entire show. It was excellent – great performances, superb production, and most importantly, the focus was kept exactly where it belonged: Haiti, the suffering of the Haitian people, and our moral imperative to help in any way that we can.

Given the star power and the urgency of the cause, it was really no surprise that it was television at its finest. However, there was more to the story. It was humanity at its finest.

Consider some unexpected wisdom from singer/songwriter Tyrese, who participated in the on-air telephone bank (by the way, imagine calling to make a donation and having Jack Nicholson or Steven Spielberg take your call! Unbelievable.) When Tyrese was interviewed by MTV after the show, he eloquently pointed out that when success and fame come  your way, you are provided with a stage. What you do with that platform is up to you, and hopefully you will use it to help others.

Well said. That concept applies to all of us. We all have a role to play in the lives of those around us, and it’s important to show up. Those Hollywood stars may not have lifesaving medical skills or search and rescue expertise, but they have their fame and its ability to draw attention to a cause.

We, the viewers, may not have their fame, but we have our sheer numbers. Each of us working together to chip in small amounts added up to a total take of $57 million to ease the pain and suffering of our fellow human beings in Haiti.

And that is why it is important to show up. We’re all counting on you, and you on us. You may not have it all, but you need to bring what you have.

It’s always a good idea to operate in daylight. The best manner in which to conduct yourself in your career is as if someone is watching your every move. That is especially true these days, because someone probably is, and that someone is willing to tell others about it.

This week in my New York Daily News column, I write about transparency in the business world. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media, the spotlight is on behavior (good and bad) in the business world like never before. Bad news for the modern-day Leona Helmsleys, and great news for the rest of us.

Leading the way in providing real insight into what it’s really like to work for a given company, or even just to interview for a position, is a website called GlassDoor.com. Glassdoor is a free career resource that gives you an inside look at company salaries, reviews and interview questions for 37,000+ employers, all posted anonymously by employees. Designed to improve workplace transparency, Glassdoor enables employees, job seekers, and employers to simultaneously see — for the first time — unedited employee and interview candidate opinions about a company’s work environment along with details of pay, benefits and CEO approval ratings.

In the spirit of community, GlassDoor asks people who use the site to share by posting an anonymous salary, employer review or interview review of their own. The more information provided, the better the data.

We are very pleased to welcome GlassDoor.com CEO Robert Hohman as a Work Her Way Expert Contributor. We’re looking forward to a spirited conversation about, as they say at GlassDoor, what employees are really saying.

This week, I had a great conversation with my friend and colleague Dana Hilmer. I would have loved to continue our chat, but we had to wrap up by a certain time. Why? Because our talk was actually an interview for her new radio show on LA Talk Radio. It was her inaugural show, and as we discussed topics near and dear to both of us, I momentarily forgot we were on the air. That’s how it is when you love what you do, and I do love to talk about working women and the issues we face in our work and our lives.

Click here to listen to our interview, and don’t miss Dana’s other interview in the beginning of the show, with Work Her Way Expert Laura Berman Fortgang. I was once again reminded why Laura, a contributing editor for REDBOOK Magazine, is one of the foremost career coaches and experts in the country.

Dana’s show, The LifeStyleMom Radio Café, works hand in hand with her website, LifestyleMom.com. Unlike many websites and shows that appear to be similar in theme, LifestyleMom is not a parenting site. The core focus of this site for moms is, get ready for this: the moms themselves. Revolutionary concept.

It’s easy to lose ourselves in one part of our identity or another, at the expense of the other areas of our rich lives. Toss a career into the equation and it gets that much more complicated. Many working women have learned that trying to balance all of that is often a futile exercise. I prefer the concept of integration. In other words, do your best to blend your work and your life, with the understanding that sometimes they will collide.

Now, go forth and integrate. Blur the lines a little between your work and your life. I would love to hear about what works for you, and what doesn’t. There are pitfalls and challenges to integration, and I’m looking forward to tackling those with you in the near future.

Lately I have met a few individuals who have taken some rather revolutionary, oft-unspoken roads to success. Like many of you, I always have my ear to the ground for different concepts, ideas, and methods, especially when they come from people whose own achievements speak for themselves. This trend, however, took me a bit by surprise.

The common themes that emerged from these very different people with whom I’ve crossed paths lately did not come as a surprise because they were so new, unusual, or foreign-sounding. What caught my attention is that these people are modeling and speaking of what we have known all along: the attributes of hard work, sacrifice, and giving to others. When, and why, did those concepts fall by the wayside in favor of “new” trends?

Hard Work

Diligent, relentless pursuit of your goals is essential, and yet we have allowed that concept to fall somewhat out of style. In our pursuit of a reduced work week, working less (expertly skewered by Penelope Trunk), working-smarter-not-harder, we have allowed ourselves to be taken in by a time-honored myth of “overnight success.” Work Her Way Expert Joni Daniels wasn’t afraid to call it a myth, and we were pleased to feature her article on the topic.

Work Her Way Expert Debbie Brannigan tells us her own personal story of success, and uses her direct style to call out anyone who dares suggest that “luck” has anything to do with it. On a related note, social media expert Chris Brogan dismantles the subject of overnight success, and points us in the right direction by word and example.

Sacrifice

While we’re on the topic of work, let’s not forget labor’s companion attribute of sacrifice. It is a given that success requires giving up something in one area of life in order to enrich another. It’s why Having It All (all at the same time) does not exist. Simple arithmetic.

I recently profiled a mother-and-son success story in my New York Daily News Column. Rani and Anuj Thukral came to America as immigrants and grew their business into a multi-million dollar empire. Anuj Thukral is now the CEO of the company for which he has worked since the age of ten. As he said, “It wasn’t easy working so many hours and living in the back of a store as a young school boy.” Rani Thukral hand-wrote flyers for her beauty products (she couldn’t afford to have them printed), posted them on trees, and gave free product demonstrations in the park, Anuj in tow. That’s sacrifice.

Giving To Others

In a Christmas Day note to you, I mentioned Work Her Way expert Keith Ferrazzi’s resolution to devote himself even more in the service of others. He’s living that out as we speak, sending Twitter dispatches from poverty-stricken Guatemala.

What can you do? What can you give? As many can attest, you will get it back exponentially. Jennifer Carota, the Gift Therapist, has a few great suggestions if you are ready to get started.

Make a commitment right now to get back to basics. Call it a resolution if you like. This is a great time to re-focus and head in a new direction. I’m looking forward to making the journey with you.