We are always looking for ways to enhance and improve Work Her Way, and there is no one whose input I value more than yours.

Would you take a few minutes to complete our very first Work Her Way survey? You can click here to get started.

I would love to give you a token of my appreciation for taking time out of your day to provide us with some answers. I would like to offer you a free gift. Women In Transition: an mp3 audio recording of my exclusive and insightful discussion with former Playboy Enterprises CEO Christie Hefner and the CEO of Open Road Integrated Media, former Harper Collins CEO Jane Friedman.

If you long for a change, or have had one thrust upon you recently, I know that you will enjoy the chance to “sit at the table” with three experienced businesswomen who have been there and have advice and answers to share.

Once you have listened in on our discussion, be sure to leave a comment for us with your thoughts about what you have heard. All those who comment will be entered into a random drawing for a $250 Ann Taylor gift card.

I hope to hear from you in the near future!

Did you bring your A game to work today?

If not, don’t fret – even top performers have an off day or two.

Every once in a while.

The topic of my New York Daily News column this week is not the occasional day when things slide. I wrote about those who are phoning it in on a regular basis, and you know who you are.

Workers who are facing a personal crisis may certainly be forgiven this attitude. Anyone who has cared for a loved one through a serious illness can attest to the fact that there were work days when work was the last thing on their minds.

What about people who simply allow their attention to slide, due to a happy event outside of the office? In my column, I quote a rather dismaying statistic about women who engage in extensive wedding planning while on the company clock. And then there are those who have simply become disillusioned with their jobs.

This is no time to be looking for a new job, especially if the reason was a choice to mentally check out at the previous position. Imagine the profound regret of tossing away something so many others would love to have in today’s tough job market.

There is an idea rolling around in my head, and I plan to discuss it further as it takes shape. With people all around us desperate for work, and companies slashing perks and extra benefits in a swift return to a Depresison-era mentality, why does it seem that there is still a disconnect in the working world that allows low performers to stay in their jobs, seemingly forever?

I recently returned from the Toastmasters International Convention in Palm Desert, California, where I was honored to receive the Toastmasters Golden Gavel Award. Knowing that I would be giving a speech to an audience of some of the world’s greatest speakers was unsettling  to say the least! As I went through my usual preparation, my mind ran the names of some past winners in a continuous loop– Walter Cronkite, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Zig Ziglar, Ken Blanchard, Dr. Stephen Covey, Deepak Chopra. Let’s just say this wasn’t a confidence-boosting technique.

I deployed every mental trick in my arsenal to focus, get in the proper mind set, and yes – calm my nerves.  Until I arrived at the convention and was welcomed at every turn by Toastmasters members from all over the world. True to their passion, these people were outstanding communicators,  and it set the tone for the entire weekend. Gone were my pre-speech jitters, replaced by an energy and a focus that were clearly a product of the company I was keeping. I have spoken before countless audiences and I can honestly say that I have never before encountered one of this caliber.

Whether they were speaking one-on-one, in small groups, or to audiences in the hundreds, these are people who have learned the art of connecting with others through their communication skills.

It drove the point home once again – there is no skill that will take you further in your career and your life than relating well to other people.

If you are interested in honing your communication skills, I encourage you to visit the Toastmasters website and find a local chapter. You will improve your public speaking skills, to be certain – but that is just one of many advantages to learning to communicate and connect.

Women have come closer to complete equality with men in the workplace in terms of salary, advancement, level of education, and other key indicators.

However, there is one significant exception to this new trend: working mothers.

A recent New York Times article by David Leonhardt, a writer whom I greatly admire,  discusses the forward advancement of women in the workplace, along with statistics that reference the mothers, who are actually losing ground.

“Women do almost as well as men today,” said Jane Waldfogel, a Columbia University professor quoted by Leonhardt, “as long as they don’t have children.”

As an important side note, it’s actually not the mothers but caregivers who are not making great strides in the workplace. When Dad is the primary caregiver, he can expect his career to take the hit just as quickly.

What does this say about the need for greater flexibility in the workplace? These are changes that cannot come fast enough.

It is evident that people who take time off from their careers for any reason are not able to pick up where they left off. In a downward economy, that can amount to never again regaining the ground that was lost. Therefore, the more we can do to allow people the ability to stay in their careers while making time  for other life pursuits, the better.

“The main barrier,” writes Leonhardt, “is the harsh price most workers pay for pursuing anything other than the old-fashioned career path.”

What about those who suggest that the current system is perfectly fair? Burning the candle at both ends for twenty years straight without a single vacation day, because that ought to earn you something? Or are we asking ourselves the wrong question?

The single-minded pursuit of a successful career, to the exclusion of all else that life has to offer, is the way to go for some people. However, this should be a lifestyle choice, not the sole, narrow path to the top of the career world.

What must we do to change that?

“Going postal.” Some things are too serious to make light of under any circumstances. Violent acts in the workplace are a good example. They are too horrifyingly tragic and graphic to have earned an amusing buzzword of a nickname.

Perhaps the reason people feel comfortable using the term (and ignoring what it really stands for) is that there have been far too many of these shocking incidents. In watching the eye-catching news stories, however, a common and questionable theme emerges. Someone who is interviewed at the scene will invariably make a comment along the lines of, “No one could have predicted this.”

Oh, really?

In the days and weeks that follow a particularly violent incident, such as a shooting, a picture often emerges of a person who actually did appear to be a bit “off” to co-workers and bosses, in a way that only made sense to them when looking back.

In fairness to those in charge of organizations who have been impacted by workplace violence, most people assume that it is not possible to accurately predict which employee and which set of circumstances will lead to tragedy. People also assume that the way they communicate with, or even the way they go about firing someone, cannot change the course of an “unpredictable” act. Correct? Not everyone thinks so.

It is, in fact, possible to predict the potential for violence with a high degree of accuracy. The science is there, and it’s in use every day in the workplace. Behavioral experts have helped to thwart violent acts before they happen, saving lives in the process.

Dan Korem is one such expert. His company, Korem & Associates  has trained over 30,000 professionals in on-the-spot behavioral profiling skills. After several years of research, his book “The Art of Profiling—Reading People Right the First Time” outlines his behavioral profiling system.

Korem is quick to point out the differences between behavioral profiling and racial (or other) stereotyping. “Racial and ethnic profiling is the opposite of behavioral profiling,“ says Korem. Stereotyping, he says, is dangerously misleading, in that we make assumptions based on how a person looks–especially when they are “different” from us.

The trouble is, the person with the “nice” appearance, who looks, talks, and dresses just like we do, may display behaviors that indicate the potential for trouble. And we’re going to miss it if we’re concerned only with outward appearances and ethnic/cultural/racial differences.

 One of the profiles in the Korem system  is what he terms the “Random Actor.“ These are the people who display a set of behaviors that could potentially lead to violence. This, of course, does not guarantee that they will commit a violent act. What will often happen is that a life crisis of some sort will push them over the edge. It could be anything from a bad breakup to a sudden job loss, all too common in a tough economy.

It can’t be said enough here that behavior experts are talking about possibilities and potential outcomes. The person who fits the profile may never have that bad day, or they may have it tomorrow.

That’s the bottom-line question for employers, and I pose it here to you: can you decide not to hire someone based on what they might do?

Now that the political and racial furor surrounding the Shirley Sherrod case has begun to settle, we can take a look at the career angle of this very compelling story, and more importantly how this is a scenario that actually plays out, on a smaller scale, quite often in the workplace. 

In my New York Daily News column this week, I discussed the pitfalls of bosses who overreact, or act too quickly when facing criticism or public scrutiny. Luckily, there are approaches that can work to restore the client/customer relationship with the company, without making hasty decisions that impact a blameless employee.

In an unrelated rush-to-fire incident, a temporary worker recently made the news when he was fired for eating the boss’ salad, despite an otherwise stellar performance. It raises a red flag of concern for temp, freelance, and contract workers everywhere, who hardly needed a reminder that their jobs could be gone in an instant.  Work Her Way expert and MSNBC columnist Eve Tahmincioglu covered the story on her blog, including a look at what protections, if any, are afforded to contract workers who face discipline or termination. An interesting read.

Our recent discussion on violence in the workplace has made for some interesting debate. Thank you to all who have weighed in on this important issue – we love a good multi-faceted conversation!

I am a believer in fearlessly changing course if you find that you have pursued something that turns out to be a mistake for you. This is especially true of work and careers.

In fact, if you’re ever looking to break the ice at a meeting, ask people to go around the room and name their college major. There’s probably a Russian major who longed to travel the world lurking in the accounting department, or a stiff-looking executive with a studio art degree hanging in his home office.

What is that executive to do if he looks at that home office every day and longs to toss the computer out of the window and turn the entire space into a workshop, complete with easels and watercolors?

This is generally the point in the article in which the reader is encouraged to “leave it all behind and leap into the future,” casting aside financial concerns and the impact on the family.

Do what you love and the money will come, right? It might. Up-end the lives of your loved ones and they will understand, because you owe it to yourself to be happy, correct? Perhaps.

Fearlessly changing course does not always look like that, and it doesn’t have to. Perhaps there is a non-profit looking for a business-savvy director with a heart for bringing the arts to underprivileged children.

In other words, those years as a business executive were hardly wasted – they helped to bring you to where you are now, ready for the next step.

Perhaps instead of waiting for the courage to make a cataclysmic leap of faith, you should be looking for the change in course that has been right in front of you all along.

Now that you have made it through the interview process, it’s time for the next fear-inducing step in the job seeking process: the offer. Negotiation is a stressful situation for most people, especially when there are questions as to whether the rules have changed. For many years, it was “all about the number,” as in, the salary. However, is that still the case? Is it all just about the salary, or have other parts of the compensation package taken on new importance?

 The quick answer is yes, the balance has changed. The National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) recently reported that salaries for new college grads are down for the second year in a row, a trend which has many root causes.

Surprisingly, not all of them are bad.  

Although the over-arching situation of the economic crisis is to blame for some lower salaries, many people have found that they are willing (glad, even) to exchange some dollars for a position in which they have some flexibility in scheduling. Perks such as the ability to telecommute or work a non-traditional schedule are worth something to today’s employees.

And then there’s the Generation Y angle. Twentysomething workers take a different approach to their work, and as more of them have entered the workforce each year, it has had an impact on compensation and benefits. Lifestyle benefits matter to this group – things such as a great physical work space, and little perks that make for a nice work environment. Popular Gen Y author and speaker Penelope Trunk has often been quick to point out on her “Brazen Careerist” blog that these are people who are all too willing to move in with their parents, if they’re not already living there. They will turn down a job offer if they don’t sense that they’ll enjoy working there. It’s no accident that Google has pool tables and foosball in their work place.

How, then, do you negotiate the number that works for you? In my New York Daily News column this week, I discuss the difference between benefits and perks – and I offer some suggestions as to which ones are worth negotiating in place of salary. Many are not- and it’s important to remember that. Know your worth, and be prepared to leave the free coffee and bagels on the negotiating (or the foosball) table on the way out, if they are offered up as a replacement for dollars and cents.

Yesterday, after a long meeting, I enjoyed a late lunch out with a few members of our Work Her Way team. Our Creative Director, Stephen, told us a colorful story (all of his stories are colorful!), and comment he made in passing has stuck with me since.

He was describing a colleague from his CBS days, and said of him, “He walked into the room, and problems were solved.”

Imagine the level of decisiveness, dedication, and forward-marching it takes to develop such a reputation. Who wouldn’t want to be described as such?

This week, think about a sentence that you would like a colleague to use to describe you at work. What are you doing, every day, to become this?

In honor of some of the hardest working women in America – thank you for all that you do on behalf of our country – it’s a debt that we cannot repay.

Dr. Jill Biden accompanied her husband, Joe Biden, as he visited troops serving in Iraq. Afterwards, as she wrote on the HuffPost,  

I had lunch with several women soldiers who told me about their experiences serving in Iraq. Many of them are mothers, and one of them is married to a soldier who is also deployed. They are managing all the challenges of parenting – securing health care, child care and education – while one or both parents are away.

It’s not easy to be away from loved ones – especially over the holidays. So please, take a minute today and give thanks to our military families serving this Nation around the world.