Posted on 7.27.2010 9:23am  |  This is a great topic. To me, a "Vibe" is hard to assess, I don't claim to be an expert it's just a bit abstract and personal to base a hiring decision on. What if you're wrong? You may lose your next superstar. I don't discount the motivation, no one wants a violent incident. But screening for what could potentially happen gives me pause. The Minority Report haunts me, the idea arresting people for future crimes. That's fiction, but the notion of profiling has been around for a while. Francis Galton, cousin of Charles Darwin, devised a technique called composite photography he believed could be used to identify criminal 'types' by appearance. The results were the composite image was more attractive or "normal" looking than the individual component faces. I try to look at the best in people but in the back of my mind I know that chronic pressure and fear can take its toll. So I manage accordingly. Proactively. LISTENING to people. Taking their issues seriously, being honest, kind and forever vigilant. Especially in this workplace. I'm going to read both Korem's books to try to get a better grasp, I like to hear all points of view. A reviewer wrote of Korem's "Rage of the Random Actor", "Korem often reiterates that people must be respected and cherished as people, and not stereotyped. Stereotyping will almost always lead to wrong conclusions about both motivation and future behavior." This I agree with.  |  NO REPLIES YET

Posted on 5.31.2010 1:36pm  |  Viv, here's my take. Starting early, creating safe environment. Giving girls a strong sense of their identity, potential and strengths early on. Talking to your girls, building genuine relationships where communication is safe between parent and child. BTW, they're watching how mom and dad relate to one another, so keep that in mind. LISTENING is most important, this creates open communication because she knows she's being heard. Help planning and evolving her direction in life, like a team. Dealing with anger when it happens, recognizing nothing can be solved in that state. Finding the right times to talk when everyone's calm and rational. Taking your girls aspirations seriously, guiding, offering advice, challenging but not scaring, devaluing or undermining. Family (traditional or non-traditional, I'd like to stress this) parents are key. Her parents gave her the right support and defined boundaries without sacrificing her spirit and imagination. She very clearly understands the consequences of her actions learned over time in common sense communication with her mom and dad. And there is always ongoing dialogue. Decision making became easier for her, allowing her not to believe everything she was told by her peers, trusting her gut instinct about what is right for her and having the self-esteem to come to the conclusion SHE may be right, not the boy with the 'agenda'. She doesn't yield, she chooses. She made me a really amazing CD compilation for my birthday. I feel really modern now...  |  NO REPLIES YET

Posted on 5.31.2010 10:47am  |  Great advice, and it's a relief to know mom's finances are all in order. We "kids" are all in our 50's, my mom is 85 and blessedly in good health, despite her fibromyalgia which she takes in stride. As far as emotional support, siblings need to be a team. My brother, sister and me communicate and coordinate together to make sure her needs are met. We live in different parts of the country, so my brother who lives nearer my mom bears the brunt. But, we all do our part caring for her in person and from a distance supporting my brother as well. Regular communication with your parent is important. So we make sure that mom does not feel isolated, which is the worst thing that can happen. 5-10 minutes on the phone a couple of times a week can make a huge difference. Treating your elderly parent as an adult is also important. Her worst fear is being dependent on someone, and wants to make her own decisions, with her children's input. So when the time comes for assisted living, we'll all be there to support her and be her advocates. I also got mom on the internet, (a mac girl!) and she has taken to it in an amazing way. We email, she's on netflix, we can video conference. Not every older parent can do this, it took some doing, but it's a window to the outside world for her. He couldn't be happier.  |  NO REPLIES YET

Posted on 5.31.2010 10:02am  |  I'm proud to say my niece is a poster child for an independent, self-assured young woman (16). She is a soft spoken, but strong individual. She bows to no peer pressure, focuses on her work, her good friends, (she shares her music with her dad, they regularly go to flea markets to buy vintage 80's vinyl, we all remember Adam Ant?)and most importantly, sticks to her values. I'm looking forward to see what the future holds for her.  |  NO REPLIES YET

Posted on 3.1.2010 9:15am  |  Sounds pretty good. Like the idea of being a knowledge broker. Very smart strategy.  |  NO REPLIES YET

Posted on 10.31.2009 2:11pm  |  So true! I also think that getting out is important to. I have my favorite spot near my apartment I go to work a few times a week.  |  NO REPLIES YET