Has Your Wake-Up Call Arrived?
Share this article on FaceBook Digg This! StumbleUpon this article! Tweet this! Bookmark with Reddit! Bookmark with Delicious!

A wake-up call is a resounding signal received that change is necessary in your life. Often we get this type of call when a crisis or deeply challenging situation has emerged.
Clients ask me, “What is crisis in our lives? How can we tell we’re heading into crisis, versus simply going through a really bad patch?”

What are the signs of “breakdown,” as I tend to call it? As defined in the Webster’s dictionary, a “crisis” is:

  • An emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person’s life (as in a midlife crisis)
  • The decisive moment (as in a literary plot)
  • The turning point for better or worse, as in an acute disease or fever
  • A paroxysmal attack of pain, distress, or disordered function
  • An unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending; especially: one with the distinct possibility of a highly undesirable outcome (as in a financial crisis)
  • A situation that has reached a critical phase

Clearly, we’re taking about a “no turning back” situation – a time in which a re-evaluation is called for. The definition of “crisis” used in my new book Breakdown, Breakthrough (Berrett-Koehler, Nov. 2008, www.breakdownbreakthrough.com) pertains to the occurrence of a deeply troubling, heart-wrenching, or grueling event or series of events that brings you to a recognition, finally and irrevocably, that change must occur now. Crisis pushes you to your knees, and stretches open your awareness that to repeat this experience (or this feeling, event, or situation) again in the same way would be close to intolerable.
A wake-up call in the professional arena means that you suddenly know beyond a shadow of a doubt that how you work, what you work on, who you work with or who you are when you work, and where you work — these elements are causing damage to you, your life, your body, and your spirit. A wake-up call often seems to strike out of the blue, yet we rarely get to this point without some warning signs along the way.

Crisis may look different for each person, but there is one unifying theme that defines it: Crisis wakes up the individual who faces it. This wake-up call demands our attention, and often leads us to have a “breakdown” or compels us to “break down” once and for all what isn’t working, and shed it. Crisis reveals that significant revision in life or work is required immediately.
If you’ve had any of the following thoughts or considered these actions in the past six months, you may be heading towards a wake-up call, and now is the time to hear it, and embrace what it’s trying to tell you.
Have you ever:

  •  Allowed money and financial “benefits” to keep you in an abusive relationship at home or at work?
  • Called in sick just because you couldn’t face what was on your plate that day?
  • Flirted with sabotaging the work of your boss or colleague because s/he’s been so awful to you?
  • Wondered to yourself, “What the heck is the purpose of what I do?”
  • Snuck out of the office, and lied about why you are leaving, so that you could see your child’s soccer game (or performance, concert, etc.)
  • Realized that you can’t remember the last time you did anything for yourself?
  • Blamed yourself for “not fitting in” and feeling so alone in your current situation?
  • Believed you might have a nervous breakdown just getting done what has to each day for work and for home?
  • Fantasized frequently about another field(s) or area that would be very exciting to focus on?
  • Sensed that you are missing important aspects of your family’s life, and will never get them back?
  • Thought to yourself, “I don’t want to do this one more day.”

If you’ve had any of the above experiences and thoughts, you’re most likely heading for a major turning point in the road, and it’s time to grab control of the wheel.

Is a wake up call on its way to you?

If so, embrace it. Change is vital and good. Take this opportunity to explore your needs and wants fully, and realize they are not to be ignored. Uncover some potential new directions that excite you. You don’t have to know the “hows” right now. Just flesh out one area you’d deeply like to explore, then take a step to research it and test it out. The key is to sense how your energy feels when you consider and examine this new direction. If you feel good, then keep moving towards exploring it.

The first step on the path of aligning your life to your satisfaction is realizing that you’re stuck only if you perceive yourself to be. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself or your work (trust me – I’ve done it!), and expand your skills and abilities to reach toward a new direction that represents a better fit.

After all, aren’t you worth having a career and life you love? I know you are.


SIGN IN TO LEAVE COMMENTS.
DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT? REGISTER!
  • Posted 03:27 PM on 02/6/2010  | 

    I enjoyed reading this, and I agree to a certain point. However, I know that sometimes I have all of these feelings about my job, my marriage, my decision to relocate last year, etc. And yet I wouldn’t trade any of these things. Point bring, it can take some time to determine the difference between a wake-up call and a rough time.

    Rough times are a certain eventuality, and if we take each one of them as a signal to move on, we’ll never stick with anything. Just another perspective!

  • Kathy Caprino Kathy Caprino, WorkHerWay Contributor
    Posted 10:37 AM on 02/9/2010  | 

    Thanks for your great feedback, Annabelle. I appreciate your views. I’d add that, from my perspective, you can’t mistake a true wake-up call from a rough time. There’re very different in how they feel. Here’s how you can tell – when you wake up one day and know — all the way down to your toes — that you simply can’t go on one more minute like you have been, then your wake up call has arrived. It’s time to take new action, and not delay. Hope that’s helpful. Thanks for writing, and all best.

  • Posted 03:43 PM on 02/9/2010  | 

    First of all, thank you for responding to my comment! As I read this again, I realize that you did point out some things that are clear indicators of a time-to-move-on moment, such as abuse.

    I am fortunate not to have ever dealt with that type of situation. I will, however, say that sometimes marriage has required going against what “makes sense” and hanging in there during tough times.

  • Posted 04:16 PM on 02/11/2010  | 

    I think that the article does draw a clear line between a bad day and a true wake up call. I have struggled with the same concept of hanging in there vs. moving on when it comes to marriage. I am very glad to have had a great marriage to a great guy, but there are times when it literally feels like I’m “going against the grain” by hanging in there.

    It’s difficult to articulate this, but basically what I’m talking about is that getting to know someone that deeply is an exposure of ALL of their flaws, and our you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-happy culture dictates that if it’s not working, it’s time to move on.If everyone did that, I’m convinced there would be a 100% divorce rate, because no couple is immune to bad times.

  • Viviana Sutton Viviana Sutton, WorkHerWay Contributor
    Posted 04:58 PM on 02/11/2010  | 

    ctreating, I have had similar thoughts, and I consider myself to be very happily married. It’s just so different than career choices. I have an easier time identifying the wake-up call moments there!

    However, for me, marriage and parenting often amount to denying yourself in favor of the other person (which of course, only works if that person is doing the same for you). I think that real love is not always a happy, warm, fuzzy emotion- sometimes it’s downright hard to do.

    When it comes to the job stuff, I do think that we need to look at our behavior patterns, as described by Kathy in this article. More importantly, when we see that our thoughts and actions are telling us something, we need to act upon that.

You must be signed in to post a comment. SIGN IN HERE

HAVING TROUBLE WITH COMMENTS? REPORT A PROBLEM OR GIVE FEEDBACK HERE
latest comments:
tonyarumpf
9.5.2010 5:55pm  |  tonyarumpf  |  A very wise man once told me a rule of thumb to becoming a really excellent listener, "Instead of thinking about what you are going to say...
Viviana Sutton
9.5.2010 3:14pm  |  Viviana Sutton  |  Abby and Tonya, I had the pleasure of listening in while they spoke, and I was struck by the same thing - they could have stuck to the easy ...
tonyarumpf
9.5.2010 1:14pm  |  tonyarumpf  |  Thank you for sharing these very informative discussions with women who obviously while not well-known always have insights into the challen...
9.4.2010 5:38pm  |  MissAbby  |  These are three very impressive women. I was pleasantly surprised by the depth of the discussion. Most advice does not get past the "you hav...
Viviana Sutton
9.4.2010 4:35pm  |  Viviana Sutton  |  Celia, thank you! Carolyn has plans to do more of these in the near future. Stay tuned!
9.4.2010 12:11pm  |  Celia  |  Excellent discussion - definitely worth a listen! You should do this type of thing more often.